Real Soccer

I am not a soccer guy. Sure, I get into the World Cup like everyone else, but I never follow the sport outside that particular event. In other words, I am all-American. And what has strained Major League Soccer from its inception is how to make soccer popular to Americans. The answer?

Make it less American.

The Kansas City Wizards have announced that they are changing their name to Sporting Kansas City. Just about everyone I know thinks this is lame. Not surprising. Our sports teams follow a simple formula: State or City + Team Name (preferably plural). But it's not like the KC club is breaking ground here. We have Real Salt Lake, D.C. United, Toronto FC, Chivas USA, etc.

Still, the name change hasn't gone over very well. Even Dead Spin came out against it, stating "the trend of naming teams in European and Latin American styles has to stop." I say this trend is exactly what the MLS needs, and to not stop there.

The problem with the MLS is that they tried making soccer an American sport. It isn't, and it will never be. What they need to do is promote the sport as an influx of European and Latin American athletics. Embrace the foreign aspect of it. With the mass migration of Latin Americans into America, what better way to reach out to that growing demographic than to give them a piece of their home?

My proposal? Create two conferences, one of "European" teams and one of "Latin" teams. I don't mean by segregating players, but by segregating atmospheres. The Euro league would consist of teams with the names of "United" and "FC" attached, with the Latin league including "Real" and "Sporting" names.

And let's keep running with this. Euro stadiums would blare English and German fight songs, only serve Warsteiners and Heinekens, etc. Latin stadiums would do the same with their respective heritage. It would add a little fun to the game. Everyone can be a part of the global game for one afternoon. Audience participation is the key.

I mean, let's face it; the game ain't attracting a whole lot of people in this country. So why not make it a cultural event? Imagine an NFL game mixed with Disney World and a touch of Beer Fest, if you will. If successful, the fan bases could even get a little Euro vs Latin hate going on. Why wouldn't this work?